Pause. Long Pause.

Ever since I married Dallin, I keep having these reoccurring conversations.

"How do you say your last name?"

"Foo-Koo-Ee."

"Oh! So you are..." Pause. Long pause. Always a pause.

 I'm white. Can't dance, can't sing, can't tan, can't spend a day at the beach without continually bathing in a tube of sunscreen.

My nieces even play this game where they compare their olive skin tone to my pasty skin and then laugh.

So when the world sees my fair features with my last name, people just get awfully confused. I'm usually nice and tell them that it's not me, but Dallin, that is half-Japanese. Because I'm married and this reflective skin could have only come from European countries where the sun just don't shine.

If I were more outwardly sassy, I might say something like this to fill in that long awkward pause,

"An ever loving Aggie? Every day."
"Going to eat this entire cupcake by myself? Of course."
"Dancing my little heart out? Most likely."
"Using milk jugs for work outs? Thanks for noticing!"

Or better yet, I would not say anything and embrace the awkward silence.

After I teach the world to look for a wedding ring, I'm going to rid my conversations of awkward pauses around my new last name. Mostly, this will be for Dallin, who puts pauses in all the wrong places.

"F-U," Pause. "K-U-I"

It's a work in progress.